Catharsis

In my school lessons this week, I encountered a strange thought. The "theme" of the week is Transformation, and they discuss it in the context of literature. They outline how a character in a book changes over time, going from a weak, dependent creature, to knowing who he is, what he wants, and how to get there. They have the "Exposition" phase, where the weak character's personality grows on the reader. The "Rising Action," usually beginning with a "Call to Action," which is some grave doom or terrible deed that has incited rebellion, comes next. During the "Rising Action," the character realizes where his faults are and goes about fixing them, trying everything in his power to change his situation. Finally, the "Climax" comes, where some breakthrough or crisis had occurred to provide the caracter with the perfect opportunity to make things right. After that, the "Falling Action," and the "Resolution," the character finally realizes his true faults, and is able to fix them.

I truly despise the way that this story arch has been true in books, but never applicable to real life. In real life, we'll never be faced with a huge climax to force us to face our fears and change our ways. In real life, you are not dependent on that crisis to rock your world before you can transform. In real life, no outside force could ever change who a person is. Life-altering transformation can only occur in one place– inside yourself. No one can force you to change, unless you yourself truly want it.

Think of the transformation in the metamorphosis of a butterfly. At first, a caterpillar. He tries everything in his power to grow, eating and digging, trying to find a good spot to settle and make his cocoon. He's weak, but he's trying his hardest under the circumstances. No life-altering event causes him to spin his web of a nest around himself when the time comes. No crisis, or need for protection, or want to save a life tells him how or why he needs to change. Nothing like an earthquake, or loss of a loved one causes him to disappear into his cocoon. He just does. Once he's decided there's nothing left of his caterpillar body, he curls up into himself, making walls and shutting out the outside world. Perhaps he even suffers from a little bit of self-loathing and self-pity while he's in there. But all by himself, given time and patience, he has transformed himself. From the inside out.

The caterpillar then emerges from his self-proclaimed haven. He, inch-by-inch, layer-by-layer, allows himself to become vulnerable. This is the caterpillar's most vulnerable time of life, when his new wings are frail and uncertain. When his entire self, from the inside out, has transformed into something unfamiliar, but happy. His new wings are transparent, and his body is covered with a thin layer of juice, like what covers a baby emerging from the womb. After several hours of acclimating to his new surroundings, he finally lifts off, spreading his beautiful, colorful, baby wings and floating away.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is that we can't wait around for some life-altering event to shake the earth beneath our feet and force us to listen up. Sometimes, its just us against the world, and we have to decide our fate for ourselves. We have to grab at the future with our own two hands and shake it until it becomes our own. It will hurt, of course. Every change does. We will be leaving behind our beautiful baby bodies, to become something greater and better. But no one else can decide to take the road less traveled for you. No one else is going to stick you in a cocoon and change you from the outside. Change within yourself, your resolution, your drive, your motivation, your attitude, everything that makes up You, can only be changed by one person. Guess who.

But I can't leave you with that despairing thought in your head. Because, I lied. You are truly not alone in anything. You have family, or friends to support you. If these people are part of what needs changing, then there is a world-full of people with similar stories, the same hurts, the same thoughts, the same change. You are never alone, because you will have people there to watch for predators as you emerge from your cocoon. There are people out there with a safety net stretched below you, in case you fall in those infant moments after you've left your walled world.

Above all, there is one person who will always be there. He is the one living in your heart. Once you've let Him in, he will change you. From the inside out.