Book List: "The Hobbit"

In preparation for the recently released movie, I put Hobbit at the top of my reading list this month. I just finished it, and I loved it! This is the first Tolkien book I've read-- of course, I've seen the Lord of the Rings movies many times and I'm very familiar with the Middle Earth universe already.

The Hobbit held up to my expectations in every way. I knew something about it before page one, after seeing the Lord of the Rings trilogy on screen, and hearing everyone talk about it. I could've guessed it was about Bilbo's story, and that he also goes on a long journey through Middle Earth, eventually obtaining the Ring, etc. But books are always best first-hand, and that is still true.

Canine Possibilities

As a dog owner, a former seeing-eye-dog puppy raiser, and general puppy enthusiast, I am considering going into the field of dog training. I don't want to just teach, "sit," or, "stay," I want to teach canines useful things, like operating light switches for disabled people in wheelchairs, or providing a young autistic child with social skills, and maybe giving a dyslexic kid the focus needed to learn. Well-trained dogs can be taught anything-- giving a hug when a PTSD or anxiety disorder patient is having an attack, guiding a blind person, aiding a deaf person, searching for and rescuing accident victims, sniffing out drugs in police investigations, attacking on command for police protection, and on and on.

But never once have I thought of teaching a dog something like this.



I can't be sure if all this is for real or just a hoax or what, but it's something to think about. It would be ridiculously fun to teach a dog how to drive a car-- and if we could do that, think of what else we could teach dogs to do...

Book List: "Harriet Beecher & The Beecher Preachers"

This book by Jean Fritz captures the character of Harriet Beecher Stowe in a way that Harriet herself would be proud of. She tells the story as if she and Harriet had lived together their entire lives, as if Fritz was writing Uncle Tom's Cabin right there with Stowe.

I am only halfway through Harriet's book Uncle Tom's Cabin, but Fritz's description of the author gives me a new perspective on Stowe's literary works, and makes me want to continue reading them with intensity. She also gives an insightful look into the events leading up to the civil war in a way I hadn't seen before. It definitely sheds light on the fact that many people benefitted from the start of a war-- Harriet was able to build her dream home as the war took hold because of the profits she made solely on her writings about the Civil War. She did more than any woman could during that time period, but even her brother, Henry Ward, seemed to be financially successful as a result from the war's beginning.

Instructionals: Series Table of Contents

I've just completed my Instructionals series about narrative and fiction writing! This series includes nine posts that take you from the idea process, all the way to an editor-ready manuscript. I will most likely be continuing this series in the future-- I am about to embark on the next stage of the process myself, and will be gathering experience to share! I'll be working with an editor, and looking into publishing (or not publishing), and I'll be able to write more on those topics soon. For now, here are the posts for the first half of this series:

1. How to Begin A Piece of Writing
2. How To Plan Your Project
3. Helpful Writing Math
4. Writing Technology
5. Writing With Your Rhythm
6. Writing Communities
7. Building a Scene
8. The Mechanics of Writing
9. Are You Showing or Telling?

Instructionals: Are You Telling or Showing?

Previous Articles - The Mechanics of Writing

Two weeks ago, in my article How to Build A Scene, I talked about the necessity of putting vital information in your scenes. I talked about starting with the most important information, and working your way out to more details and texture during a rewrite. In this article, I'll go over how to add in those textures and details to make your story come to life!

Instructionals: The Mechanics of Writing

Previous Article - Writing Communities

I would like to start this article by stating that I am probably the world's worst person to tell someone else about grammar! I am pretty good at spelling, and I can usually tell if something "sounds right," but I admit to never taking a formal grammar course. Thus, I don't employ extremely accurate grammar rules on a regular basis.

That said, I am well aware of the fact that having good grammar, as a writer, is enormously important. It makes your writing professional, and concise. As a writer, you are a role-model of the English language, and you should represent to the best you can.

Sometimes, grammar correction should be left until editing. Many times, though, it is easier on yourself, your editor, and your readers to simply start writing with good grammar in your first draft. In my case, I do the best I can to come out with my best draft, then I encourage my editors and proofreaders to find all of my mistakes. Again, this is because I severely lack grammar knowledge!

The Risk of An Artist

When you think about a career as an artist-- in any form, whether it be writing, painting, playing music, dancing, etc., what is the first thing you think of? 'Instability' is the first word that comes to my mind. Financial crises, sacrifice, poverty, imbalanced self-esteem, emotional waves, and other negative concepts closely follow. But what if doing one of these things is what truly makes you happy? Would you be willing to sacrifice your family's security, or a better lifestyle, to do something that makes you happy? Every artist has to make that decision at some point-- whether to just off the cliff into a pool of uncertainty, not knowing whether you'll drown or stay afloat, or to stay on the edge of the cliff where it's safe, warm, and dry.

A close friend of mine asked this question today: Why do artists typically have the short end of the stick? He pointed out that it's not right that artists get the smallest percentage of their own sales. It's not right that someone else can profit more from a product than the person who created it. It's not right that the people who have made the sacrifices for their art still have to live with so much uncertainty, and it's not fair. My friend had a good point: There is something wrong with this picture. Something is off.

Instructionals: How to Build a Scene

Previous Article - Writing Communities

I came across an amazing blog post by Laura Cron this week, and she included several gold nuggets about writing good scenes, and avoiding bad scenes. She was making sure every writer has fulfilled their original intentions for their piece of writing-- Making sure that everything in the author's head is really communicated through the text.

She mentioned a few strategies to help perfect your scenes, and to improve the reader's understanding of the emotion and motivation behind it, as well as to continue moving the action forward and giving a rich context. I went ahead and expanded on her ideas, and wrote my own cheat-sheet for writing good scenes.

Instructionals: Writing Communities

Previous Article - Writing With Your Rhythm

As a writer, you can be part of a huge community of writers and readers. You don't have to be a part of the group if you don't want to, but being active in a writing community comes in handy when you need encouragement, advice, and motivation.

In Real Life Writing Groups

Many writers have a group of fellow writers that are there for constant help and support. John Green, a young adult novelist, worked closely with Justine Larbalestier, Maureen Johnson, Lauren McLaughlin, and Scott Westerfeld, a group of other popular, published writers in his genre. They were not collaborators-- more of a support group. Writing is a lonely job, so having a group of friends that will work with you is extremely useful.

Instructionals: Writing With Your Rhythm

Previous Article - Writing Technology

Once you've got your ideas, outlines, desk environment, schedule, and goals all together, it's time to stop procrastinating, and start writing! The only way you're ever going to get your project finished is by sitting down and actually writing! And of course, you'll start with a first draft.

Drafting is sometimes the best part of writing-- you can put the pieces any way you want, throwing together all of your ideas in a mad hurricane of words, pages, and deadlines. But sometimes, it's difficult to sit down everyday (or however often you write) and focus on pushing out the words. It's a pain, especially if you impose word counts and deadlines on yourself.

Writing daily is important, and in most circumstances, regular practice is the only way to continue to grow your skills. You should at least sit down and write something each day, whether it's a blog post, a journal entry, a NaNoWriMo entry, or a school assignment. Putting your thoughts into words and sentences is easy-- but putting good thoughts into good sentences, and crafting a consistent writing voice, will take some work. Although I admit to not writing everyday, I know I should, I know I want to, and I know that my writing gets better when I do. That said, I strongly encourage you to find something to practice on every day to keep your creativity at its highest, and your skills growing.

Book List: "The Three Musketeers"

"The Three Musketeers" by Alexander Dumas is a very long-winded, wordy book, but nonetheless, immensely enjoyable! It takes you back to a time period where haughtiness was normal, women fainted, and where swordsmanship and loyalty were the only skills you required to become a great, rich man. My friends and I have been reading this together, and creating videos on out vlog, SweetCranberrys.

September 5th: 3Ms - D-Artagnan is Funny

Instructionals: Writing Technology

Previous Article - Helpful Writing Math

Writing is one of the most versatile art forms--you can write anywhere, with anything. Pencil and paper, notepad, computer-- anytime, anywhere. Sometimes, half the battle of daily writing is finding a good system. Most writers today type, to allow for easy editing, changing, spell-check, and updating, but a small few like to handwrite, then type it up (I'm not sure why). Whichever you prefer, it's important to find the system that works for your project. For me, poetry is easiest to write by hand, but it's ridiculous to write a 50,000 word novel with a regular pen.

Word Processors & Beyond

If you prefer to type for your larger projects, like normal people, the first place to start is a simple word processor. Notepad or Microsoft Word for Windows computers, TextEdit or Pages for Mac. Also, look into Google Docs, which is based in the cloud to use on any computer, along with any other cloud-based word processor, like Evernote, or Simplenote. This is best if you don't have a computer, and regularly use library computers or friend's computers.

If you want to try something more powerful than a simple text editor, there are other options. One of my personal favorite writing tools is Literature & Latte's Scrivener. It's a computer program designed for large writing and research projects, but it's extremely flexible! It has so many helpful features, and it's easy to use. NaNoWriMo winners get a discount on this software, even though it's a very inexpensive program. Scrivener allows you to organize your text documents in a hierarchy, for chapters, scenes, acts, etc. It also allows you to import webpages, PDFs, images, and more into the program, for things like research and notes. Not only does it work well for large writing projects, but it would also be good for organizing school notes, work projects, and other large projects.

Instructionals: Helpful Writing Math

Previous - How to Plan Your Project

Once you have a writing project planned out and you're ready to start writing, it's a good idea to run a few calculations ahead of time, so that you're aware of how much you're committing to. These numbers include word goals, time spent writing, page count goals, and scheduling.

Word Goals

Many writers work toward word count goals. This allows you to estimate how long your project will be in the end, and gauge where you should be in your story. If you want "Act 2" to take up about 2/3rds of your book, then estimate it based on your total word goal.

In a NaNoWriMo competition, the goal is to write a 50,000 word novel, which is about the size of a purse-sized romance novel, in a month. This means that you would write at least 1667 words each day.

This article from Fiction Factor on word count can give you an idea of how long different word counts will turn out-- Also, look around the rest of the site, as Fiction Factor is a great resource for writers. Here is a short summary of the article:

• Micro-Fiction = 0-100 Words
• Flash-Fiction = 100-1,000 Words
• Short Story = 1,000-7,500 Words
• Novellette = 7,500-20,000 Words
• Novella = 20,000-50,000 Words
• Novel = 50,000-110,000 Words
• Epics/Sequels = 110,000-∞ Words

Word counts are great to help you get an idea of how large your book or piece of writing will be, but they can also be stressful. Some writers don't want to have to worry about making their word goal, because they want to focus on getting their point across through their story. Some writers like a word goal because it gives them perspective, and helps them focus on getting to the end of your story. It's up to you.

Book List: "I Am NOT A Serial Killer"

Because his book was short, I shall keep my response short as well.

This book is great!!

"I Am NOT A Serial Killer" takes on a very unique perspective-- a young boy who obsesses over serial killers, and dreads that his sociopathic tendencies might take him too far. I love the storytelling; Dan Wells is a great writer and story-designer. He constructs every detail possible for the characters, and fearlessly incorporates enormous texture into the mind of this young, abnormal teen. Not only does he craft excellent characters, but his plot twist in this book was literally unbelievable. I couldn't tell if the character was hallucinating, if it was a dramatization, or if it was actually real, until almost the end of the book. The story was a roller coaster that just kept climbing up, with a tiny downward spiral at the end-- but it kept me intrigued the entire way up!

Instructionals: How to Plan Your Project

Previous Article - How To Begin A Piece Of Writing

Once you've set up your commitments and goals from the Previous Article, you can begin the planning and research phase of your project!

Some writers are able to miraculously sit down with an idea in their head, and write their entire piece from beginning to end, without any plans or forethought. But for normal people, this is not the case! There are many different methods that allow you to organize your thoughts and plan out your story or message before you put your first sentence on the page. For my writing, I usually end up with a messy hybrid of several techniques-- it's up to the writer to decide the best way to plan!

Planning can come in many forms-- a concise one-sentence summary, a  massive mind-map of the different characters, topics, subplots, or chapters, and your basic numbers/bulleted outline are just some of thousands of planning methods. Some people will plan out every detail of every scene, writing up detailed documents for every setting, drawing sketches for every character, and doing extensive research for every concept or topic presented. Others will simply take a note of their initial idea, and begin at page one, word one.

3 Things Your Church is Lying About

I was listening to a sermon this past Sunday, and I realized how very much I disagreed with what the pastor was preaching. No, this was not my church-- it was a friend's church, so I feel safe to reject his message. But it has been an eye-opener for me this week, and I hate how often we find sermons like these in today's church.

1. You're Not A Good Enough Christian

This particular pastor used a visual aid to demonstrate their principle, which they conveniently issued to every congregation member inside their program. It was a triangle, with 8 different levels inside. Each level, or "tier", represented a level of faith, starting at the bottom with "Faith - a decision to believe," then going to "Moral Excellence," then "Knowing God Better," then "Self Control," all the way up to "Godliness," then to "Radical Love For All." Most of the sermon was dedicated to this triangle. The pastor encouraged his audience to continue to climb the triangle as much as they could, so they could ultimately reach the top level; Agape, or radical, love for everyone. This is the kind of love God has for us.

Instructionals: How to Begin A Piece of Writing

This is the first article in my "Instructionals" series! I hope to help you become a better writer by offering step-by-step advice and helpful resources along your first writing journey.

Why do you want to write?

This is a major question, because it helps you to set goals. If you have a story you want to tell, then your main goal will be to tell the story as accurately and as entertainingly as possible. If you want to teach a lesson, then you want that lesson to be clear and understandable, and, possibly, as artistically conveyed as you can. Are you writing for yourself, or someone else (audience)? Understanding these things will help you set guidelines for your first (or second, or third, or infinite) writing project.

I suggest putting a brief answer to the question "Why do I want to write?" on the wall above your desk, at the top of your computer screen-- somewhere nice and visible. When you get frustrated, look back to the answer; why do you write?

Shock Absorbers

Lifestyle is a word we use to describe the way in which we live. Where we work, whether we go to church, how busy we are, and what we do to relax are all a part of our lifestyle. We find houses, cars, and even jobs and schools based on the lifestyle we want for ourselves. Many people dream of that white-picket-fence lifestyle, with two-and-a-half kids, one dog, two cars, a nine-to-five job, and a middle-class economic status, and some of those people have achieved their optimal lifestyle.

This month, my family moved to Cypress, Texas, and I am realizing all the differences between this suburbian paradise of Houston, and the quaint, tropical town of Lakeland, Florida. In Houston, people are always busy. The traffic is horrendous at all times of the day, the map of the area is far too big to remember, and the rows of cookie-cutter housing and identical streets goes past the horizon in all directions. It takes at least half an hour to go anywhere, and there must be a school zone on every other block. When people say the 'suburbs' they are talking about right here, in Cypress, Texas.

Keep Calm and Carry On

Forgive me for interrupting your awesome day, but I wanted to share with you a bit of inspiration and fun!

I recently came across this poster, and decided to find out its history. It really quite interesting, and you can find the complete article here.

This poster was originally created by the UK in 1939, during WWII. It had a very small distribution, but was used to raise the morale of the troops, along with two variations:

Book List : "Anthem" Part 2

Here are the videos from the second half of Anthem, by Ayn Rand.
Click here to see our vlog: SweetCranberrys
Click here to see the videos from Part 1.

My video from Monday, August 27:

The Potter's Clay Waste Bin

"The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function." - F. Scott Fitzgerald

In our American culture, we have been told since we were little that you can be whatever you want to be. If you were born a janitor living off of welfare, you still have the opportunity to be the President of the United States if you want. As my youth pastors pointed out this morning, though, that hasn't always been the case. Before the 1700's, if your father was a carpenter, you were too. And if you were a girl-- you were just out of luck. Even in communistic countries, freedom of choice is nonexistent. The concept of free will is a new development.

Candle Inspiration

We are moving in a few weeks, and we've been burning out our candles so we don't have to put them in storage. As any excellent picture moment, I whipped out my mom's Nikon D90 and snapped some pictures. Of course, I heavily adjusted them in iPhoto. Enjoy :)

Camp NaNoWriMo Finished!

I officially finished Camp Nanowrimo by putting 50,000 words into my novel (temporarily entitled Shadow of Erafel) this month! Of course, the novel is far from over-- this is only the second draft, and there is still some story leftover to work out. Even though I reached 50,000, the story hasn't found it's end yet. My deadline to finish the second draft is the day before Moving Date, September 15th. After we move, I'll be handing my novel over to my Aunt Beth, who'll edit it for me. When I get it back from her, I'll complete the third draft.

By that time, I'm hoping that I'll be done with it (unless it needs yet another draft, which it probably will). When I'm completely finished with it, I hope to self-publish it over Amazon Kindle for everyone who wants to read it.

But of course, I have to finish it first. Wish me luck! 

The Life of the Writer

The world of writing is a world that I have only recently stepped into. I've always been much better at english than math, but I never realized just how important writing is for me until about 18 months ago. I follow a lot of bloggers that talk about writing (See 12 Lessons Learned from 12 Years of Writing, and The Practice of Writing for more). They always talk about writing as if it's this giant mountain of lifestyle choices and early, isolated mornings with multiple cups of coffee; that writing is something that "writers" can't NOT do. For "writers," getting published is a life-long dream, critiques are heart breaking-- but don't let them get you down!, and your "writing time" is a coveted, sacred part of your day that must be kept clear and without interruption. A stereotype for a "writer's" blog is the concept of "Write, write, write. Write the inspired, write the crap. The only way to get better is to write for those 10,000 hours and keep up the uphill battle." I've heard that message so many times, it hurts to even type this post.

But there must be more advice to be had than the stereotypical "don't give up" speech.

Book List : "Anthem" Part 1

I have read Anthem, by Ayn Rand, twice before. But, I wanted my best friends to read it as well, and so we decided to start a book club through our vlog, SweetCranberrys. Here is the first week, of the first half of the book:

My video from Monday, August 20:

Once

Sunlight danced across the room, over the dining table and into glass cabinets, reflecting off facets of glassware inside. White tile floors bounced sunlight up to a white ceiling. Fresh, green vines hung down from pots between windows. An old ragtime piano nestled between two doors, aging further every day. Yellow keys played everything they could, now resting, waiting for someone to tune their discordant sounds. This room was beautiful in mornings, with sunrise just outside. Smells of damp earth after a dreary rain drifted in through open windows. A painting collected from long ago, from another house-- another life-- was attached above the piano, filling the space satisfyingly. A row of young, happy children filled the opposite wall.

Inspirational Video Games : Visiting Minecraft

There's a video game that I play with my brother called Minecraft. The gameworld is comprised of thousands upon thousands of blocks. They could be ore or wood or stone or dirt, or any of a hundred different types of blocks. By applying different tools to different blocks, you can mine and harvest the blocks to get items like silver or wool, tools like axes and shovels, food, or any of a number of resources. The Survival Mode of the game involves consistent hunting of chickens, cows, and pigs for food, as well as farming, mining, building, and defending yourself against hostile mobs like creepers and zombies that come out at night. It is exhilarating and educational, like the novel Hatchet by Gary Paulsen, where a teenage boy survives a plane crash in the middle of an uncivilized area of Canada, and must learn to survive the wild using only his hatchet. By mining and collecting blocks, you have the ability to build yourself a house, a farm, domesticate and breed animals, and even create railroads. My brother found these amazing renderings of creations built on Minecraft Survival Mode-- absolutely breathtaking.

Every block had to be mined from the ground (or trees) and placed individually.

Guilty Until Proven Innocent

"Shut up!" Indo shouted as he launched himself at Cot. Cot went down immediately, his back and pants instantly soaked from a deep puddle, while Indo swung his leg back and kicked him hard in the rib cage.

"Stop! I'll shut up! Get off me!" Cot begged mercy as his sides locked up with pain, but Indo was angry. No one insulted his father, not to his face. He kicked him again. He wouldn't let this kid get off easy. He knew the rules.

"My dad is not a murderer! If I hear you say that again, you won't still be living!" After a third and final kick, Indo turned and stomped several feet away toward the end of the alley.

NaNoWriMo Strategies : Divide & Conquer

This month, I am participating in Camp NaNoWriMo. The original NaNoWriMo, in November, is an annual online gathering of amateur and professional novelists, coming together to work on a common goal: to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. Camp NaNoWriMo is a summertime adaptation of that goal.

This would be my second attempt at a formal NaNoWriMo competition, although I have challenged myself to write longer fiction several times before. On my previous endeavors into novels, I've gone into the process in the same way, and I came out all dried up. I didn't like my story anymore– my plot was messy, my characters were boring, the message and themes were undefined, and I had no motivation to even begin the editing phase. This month, I hope to do things differently.

Camp Nanowrimo!

This year, I'm participating in Camp NaNoWriMo! The goal is to write 50,000 words during the month of August!

By sponsoring me, you'll be supporting a world-wide campaign to inspire amateur writers and novelists to write through programs like NaNoWriMo.org and Camp Nanowrimo every year!

NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month. Usually, it happens every November, but Camp Nanowrimo offers the opportunity to write with a community of writers during the summer months too! Nano allows you to track your progress and your friends' progress throughout the month and encourages you to finish writing 50,000 words by offering amazing winner goodies! Nanowrimo is a completely free, non-profit organization, and depends on donations to keep running, growing, and inspiring young writers like me!

Click here to sponsor me: StayClassy!
Click here to read more about Nanowrimo, and Camp Nanowrimo!

Thank you for any support you can give! If you can't give anything, thank you still for taking the time to learn about this great program. Just the moral support helps!

Book List : "Fahrenheit 451"

I just finished Fahrenheit 451 this afternoon, and I have to say– it was brilliant!

Although Ray Bradbury used a lot of flowery, distracting metaphors and imagery, he still accomplished what he wanted: a meaningful story. The novel is set in a dystopian, futuristic society where technology has stolen the will to think from the human race. Firemen burn books instead of preventing fires, and the oncoming war does very little to worry the endlessly entertained population. Guy Montague, a fireman who doesn't understand why he steals books, meets an abnormal teenager and an unemployed professor, and the terror of the society finally dawns on him through these outstanding people. His suicidal wife turns him in for owning books, then promptly leaves him, while his fire-chief taunts him into committing murder. Guy finally runs away, meeting a group of renegade scholars who keep copies of all the burned books in their minds, hoping to one day pass on the texts to future generations.

Book List : Introduction

I've decided to start a book-club! As I look around at stacks of unread classics in my bedroom, I ask myself– what am I waiting on? I have finally come to the conclusion that I don't need someone to read them with, nor do I need a teacher to tell me to read them, nor do I need an instructional institution to assist me in gleaning information from them (that's what the internet is for!) So, I've decided to take a serious plunge headfirst into a commitment to classic literature.

Now don't get me wrong! A few of these books have been read by me at one point or another, because I've always been an avid reader–since I first picked up a book! But now I feel a need to organize my reading and attack with force– to engage in learning information and expanding my mind through these classic works. I am going to divide and conquer the ever-growing list of novels that I have yet to read. I refuse to allow these great works to pass me by!

The Secrets of Eden

Imagine a group of six high school seniors going on a three-week hiking trip through the Appalachian Mountains. No adults, no laptops, very scarce electricity, and a ton of miles between where you started and where you're going. Imagine spending that kind of time with your closest friends, just exploring God's masterpiece endlessly and forever, with the sunlight filtering through the trees, and the clouds lilting over golden wheat fields all around you–falling asleep beneath the Universe every night nestled beside the people that meaning everything to you, without a single worry in the world. Doesn't that sound like perfection? What could be better than that?

We Are The Battlefield

There's an old gospel hymn that says,

"Oh when the Saints, go marching in! Oh when the Saints go marching in! Oh Lord I want to be in that number, when the Saints go marching in!"

This song was used for funeral marches, as a procession would escort the deceased to the cemetery for burial. It offers the beautiful thought of joining the Lord's host of Saints and Believers after death, and becoming one of God's Army once we return home.

The Donkey And The Lion

He looked a little like Golom, from The Lord of the Rings, or maybe Yoda from Star Wars, but he was completely black. He was permanently hunched over, like his spine was molded to the inside of a crescent moon. His skin was dark and scaly like a snake’s, his eyes were glowing a dull yellow-brown, and his pupils were as narrow as a cat’s. He sat clinging to the foot of my bed, watching me with his glowing eyes. In the darkness, I could make out his eery silhouette against he moonlit window behind him.

He had been there every night for the past month. The first night, I had started screaming. My parents had come in and assured me that nothing was there– even though I could see his eyes following me the entire time. They simply couldn’t see him, and told me to ignore it and go back to bed. The second night, I had tried to talk to him, but he just hissed and growled at me, mumbling sharp words in a language I’d never heard before. The third night, I tried to move him, but the moment I laid a finger on him, my skin started to burn. I couldn’t touch him without searing pain, even while wearing gloves. After the first week, I gave up trying to get rid of him. I left him there, staring at me for hours as I tried to sleep.

Mercy

     A moment before, Mercy was standing there. I turned around, and suddenly she wasn't. I was afraid to look down out of the window, to the bright green lawn outside. I just stared out of the open window, at the clear blue sky, and the apple tree orchard. Nadia came in behind me, but I didn't hear what she asked me. A second later, an aching screech unmistakably from our mother's throat echoed up the hallway, followed by shouting. I was rooted to the spot, my brain frozen.

     She had been in an irregular mood lately– wandering through the large house aimlessly, as a ghost. In fact, she had been pale as a ghost, too. She didn't speak much, but had begun to stare at nothing, as if in thought, much of the time since her return to the estate. Her normally effervescent voice would be so welcoming in the mornings, and quite animated after a glass or two of her favorite deep red wine from the Kenworths' vineyard. More recently, however, she was lackadaisical and solemn. We had all wondered furtively what had occurred at the Women's College to have affected her, but we didn't ask in the case that she might be offended. Her sudden introversion had put the house in a pensive mood, and we were all hoping that she might surface at some point, and perhaps awaken her usual self, never the wiser that she may have acted strangely at all. As this was not the case, however, I regret not questioning her reservedness immediately upon her homecoming.

The Song of the Heart : Power in Testimonies

To Create Something Meaningful:

1. Take a part of your heart (usually the hardened, crusty part).
2. Beat yourself up about it.
3. Rip it out of your chest (some bleeding may occur).
4. Massage that part of your heart into soft, supple words and poetic emotions.
5. Create a piece of art directly from your raw and broken heart.
6. Broadcast that broken (and sometimes mended) piece of your heart to the rest of the world.

Art in any form requires an intrusion into your heart and soul. Your human emotions are what translate best into art, because that's what an audience of humans can relate to. I'm not saying that the formula for a good song is to create a pit of self-pity and sing about it. Instead, find something that has meaning to you. Use an experience – or a grief, a victory, or a journey, a lesson you've learned, or a lesson you're learning – to find out where your heart is. As in the movie Happy Feet, a song must come from the heart. But creating something from the heart is only step one through five!

Wiper Blades

The morning was blustery– The wind was strong enough to force leaves across the street and into the neighbor's porch. The sky was having an off-day. It's normal brilliant blue was more of a solemn gray, and the sun had decided to sleep in. Contrary to the typical chirping, fresh, dewy morning that greeted me, today was dreary and humid. The Earth was taking an abnormally long time to awaken.

I looked at where I thought the sun should be– where it always was– and willed it to appear from behind the clouds. This day of all days, I needed the sun.

Mike's First Year

I was thinking of posting this when Mike goes IFT, but on his blog. But I'll post it here as well.

I wish I could just capture him–
His long coat, the thick baggy skin.
All the wrinkles under his chin.
How his face crumples up when he smells something.
The way he mopes around with big heaving sighs,
And snores when he lays his neck across my foot.
The way he tries to hide,
When he's doing something I don't like.
All the sarcastic expressions on his face when I talk to him.
The way he looks when he's half asleep.
And the big swirls of fur on his butt.
The way his panting feels like laughter.
And the way he acts like an elephant,
Afraid of a mouse around the vacuum cleaner.
The way he'll push his shoulder in, and rolls over onto you,
Or maybe the way he softly places his chin on your lap,
And licks your hand so gently when he needs attention.
How his lips flap around lazily,
When he looks at you upside-down.
Or how he points his toes when he stretches.
All of these little things make up him,
And I'm scared I'll forget something so important about my sweet baby.
I never want to forget the feeling of his velvety nose and chin,
Buried warmly into my neck,
Or how strong he is when I hug his chest,
And hear his heart pounding.
How safe I feel,
Like nothing will ever touch me,
When I snuggle up between his paws.
That face he gives when he is looking for me,
And then when he's found me.
His eyes are so heartbreaking,
When someone is leading him away from me.
I never want to forget these things,
Because maybe I'm the only one who will ever know.
His future mom or dad will know a loyal service dog.
But I know him differently–
I am his mommy, since birth.
I know everything about him,
Head to toe.
And I almost needed him,
As much as he needed me.



Mike, I am so honored and privileged to have been your puppy raiser. I hope you go on for great, beautiful things. Thank you for this year. I will miss you always.

Every Moment

     My phone rings. I stand and search for it. It is my mother calling. She never calls me at this time of day– never. She knows that I am in the middle of my meditations every day at this time. I've done this since I was in middle school, and I have continued to do so every morning since. She knows this. Why is she calling?

     "Bell?" My mother's voice is just below a whisper coming through the static-filled cell phone.

     "What is it?" Her tone concerns me quite suddenly. Everything stops for a moment and I listen to her utter the next sentence.

     "Zack is..." As she trails off in a blur of details, my mind sprints ahead, not stopping for a moment. It continues sprinting through all the possible meanings and implications of that line, all the way to the hospital. Upon my arrival, I am whisked into the Emergency Room, and watch in horror as he lies still on the stretcher. If the hospital had not been two blocks away, I would have missed him. His clothes had been quickly chopped away, and they had left his chest exposed and bloody. His arm has a bone protruding at a queasy angle through his elbow. Blood is everywhere, coating instruments, crisp cloths, uniforms, and the floor. Several nurses are busy cleaning up from the hurried procedure. A doctor is pacing in the corner. The machines are dead– no hopeful bleeping this time. It is all silent as I watch the aftermath.

Coffee Shop Writer

Here I sat in the coffee shop, day in, day out. Warm tones, soft music, chatting folks milling through. Every day in, and every day out, I sat in this overstuffed booth, watching the shop, drinking mocha and beans and milk and cinnamon. Watching.

I had a notebook in front of me, perfectly centered. The napkin holder, the small flower in the vase, the salt, the pepper, the menu, all were straightened in the middle of the table. My stack of impeccably sharp pencils at a ninety degree angle to the edge of the table, resting across the top of the pages. One of these pencils always perched on top of my ear, through my hair. My mug of coffee never left a single stain, my crackers never left a crumb. It was the perfect environment for my work– the music, the inspirational atmosphere, the coffee and soup and panini's and overstuffed chairs. I looked down toward my page, day in and day out, looking over my marvelous brilliance from the day before.

The blonde waitress would come every hour, refilling my coffee with a smile and a stack of one cream and two sugars. At least once a day, she'd always ask what I'm writing that day, and my standard reply would be uttered. "Oh, a great novel," or "A catchy tune." I would never let anyone peek into my notebook, that notebook that sat there, perfectly centered.

My smoking jacket, with my neatly pressed pants, my dark shirts, and my characteristic hat– they would always put me into the right mood to write. I'd feel creative and free of social expectation. I felt I'd be able to write a Bestseller, or a Platinum Single, or win an Oscar for my great screenplay. It would be perfect, free of any mistakes. It would have the most intriguing beginning, the most intelligent middle, and the most clever end. It would have the most memorable tune, and the most meaningful lyrics.

Here I sat in the coffee shop, day in, day out. I had a notebook in front of me, perfectly centered. Each morning I opened it carefully, pulling back the pristine cover, watching the blank page.

The Poem "Fall"

When strong walls built
    begin to crumble– wilt
When found what one can find
     release tears from their eyes
When that special place they know
     collapsed– dead in water's flow
When vibrant trust had
    shattered in Maker's hand
When those wishes dreamed
    only lasting memories
When body– mind
     life's unkind
When weakness in the heart
     played its part
When no energy is left
     no motivation kept

               Fall.

When the Future Becomes The Present

The shutters on the house were a brilliant red. So red, it almost looked like house was crying, the windows being eyes, the wide red door being lips. The rest was a dismal gray, sad but homely, in a way. It was surrounded by droopy trees, and fallen leaves. The white rock driveway was no longer white– it was a dirty gray-brown. Weeds grew along the front, so tall they looked like they would suffocate the porch. The house stood tall, though. It was surrounded on both sides by smaller mobile-homes, all tattered and in huge disarray. It was there to stay, unlike the others. I wanted to hate this house, with its sadness and self-pity, but I couldn't bring myself around to it. It was pathetic, like a rainy day that never ended, and yet– there was something about it that was familiar.

The Woman In Apartment 3B

A creative writing prompt at a conference last year started as "The woman in apartment 3B," Angelo from New York," and "stalking." I wrote this passage based on the prompt, and it spurred the "Book in 55 Days" attempt. Enjoy!

     I miss her. I wish I could see her one more time, but she sent away a long time ago. Her blonde waves cascading from her head, her sweet smile, her magical honey-and-cinnamon perfume, that wafted around the room, and enraptured everyone around her in a captivating hypnosis.
     Emily has that same perfume. She lives at the end of the hall, and walks past my door to get to and from the elevator every morning and night. I watch her through my peephole most times. Memories of her– long nights, adventures in Long Island. Smells of sweaty people, hot dogs, and car exhaust. The loud music, people laughing and screaming, and motorcycles honking at much bigger cars. Her sweet perfect perfume.
     I turn from my door after Emily has disappeared into the elevator, and my heart sinks as I look around. I begin to cry inwardly, wishing, and hoping. My L.A. apartment is cheap, with peeling paint and and unpacked boxes. The faucet drips throughout the night, the kitchen always smells like burnt popcorn. I much prefer to spend time in apartment 3B, at the end of the hall. I've found that my key works in her lock, too. I like to study the pictures and paintings she's hung on her wall; they're beautiful. I like to look at her little notes– Emily's handwriting is so similar to hers, and its fluidity is soft and sweet. I look at her kitten calendar, so I know where to look for her at concerts and dinner dates.
     Sometimes, I'll steal a hair, a blonde one, from her brush and tie it around my finger. Or, I'll spray her honey-and-cinnamon perfume on my jacket, so those memories will follow me home.

The Games

In honor of The Hunger Games, I felt inspired to write a little this evening. I'm in the middle of book 3, Mockingjay, and I'm also reading The Ender's Game (not a good idea to read them simultaneously). So with all the themes and concepts arising between both books, I had both author's writing styles buzzing inside my head all day. I just had to write my own couple of scenes, and put my own twist on their beautifully written books.

My mind is consumed with the focus it takes to steady the gun clutched between my palms. I try to think, catching only glimpses of the scene beyond the mixture of blood and sweat dripping down my face. I aim at her again, trying desperately to stay silent while my entire right side, leg and arm included, scream with a sharp pain. She finds her way between the ticks on my gritty viewfinder, and I have my chance. This is it. Everything up to this point is hopeless, unless it happens. I have no choice– it has to happen. In a split second, I clamp my eyes shut, and listen to the sound of the gun firing in my bloody palms. I can't open them to find out if I had hit my intended target. I listen, waiting for her footsteps to come closer to finish me off. I listen for the rustle of trees that meant she had made it to safety on the other side of the clearing. I listen, but I hear nothing. I collapse to my knees, my eyes still glued shut, and wince in pain as my weight falls on the ground. I hear nothing, and that horrid knot in my stomach tightens even further. My brain clouds with the overwhelming thoughts that I can never escape from. Why? was the most prominent among them. I can't open my eyes to watch the black-suited men appear and take away the last body. I still can't open them when the announcer states the winner. The scores. My brain clears for just a moment, and I suddenly feel my entire being shiver and knot with utter hatred at the nonchalant way he addresses the deaths of all five of them. I still can't open my eyes when a team of black-suits lift me onto a stretcher and roughly carry me out of the forest and into the walls of the Bowl. I can only see the dancing of light behind my eyelids. They went from yellow to red to black as we moved into more dimly lit areas. My eyes are still closed, and I listen. People passing orders in a heartless tone. Attendants passing and following. It's all I can do to keep my eyes closed, because I know that the moment I open them, her death will flood my vision like every other kill before her. I must be hard. I must ignore it. I can't open my eyes long enough to see her scarred face as the bullet I fired penetrates her chest. I won't let that happen again. If I do, I will lose it. Lose everything. Again.

A New Way of Living : Part 3 - Health Advantages

To read Part 1, click here.

To read Part 2, click here.

This post discusses an organic way of life. If you're interested in learning more about natural diets and healthy living, visit my friend's blog, Healthy 411.

Organic & Natural Advantages

Eco-friendly products have been all the rage for several decades, stemming from environmental rumors like global warming, disintegration of the ozone layer, talk of nonrenewable energy resources, and more. I don’t know if any of these are false or true, nor do I want to take the time to find out. Growing my own garden and cooking everything from close to raw form is just plain healthier. Large corporations like fast food restaurants and frozen meal providers stuff their foods with chemicals and preservatives. No, I haven’t researched this myself, but this is a basic, commonsense business strategy. The longer the food lasts, the more opportunity it has to get sold. A burger patty can be crammed with preservatives and frozen, to be reheated and eaten weeks later in a restaurant. Because this society demands everything to be available to everyone on a whim, produce from a local grocery store could have been ripe long ago, but it was genetically modified to last longer between picking and selling. After thinking about it, I realize that most of the things we buy in grocery stores are grown somewhere far away, and have been modified to survive the long delivery process. Businesses that sell to grocery stores also want their product to be the best tasting product, so of course they stuff their foods with sugar and chemicals to make it the sweetest, or the best. They don’t use natural sweeteners, they use chemicals like fructose, because it’s cheaper. With applied thinking skills, we can conclude that most of what you buy in today’s store is probably modified by unhealthy and unnatural methods, and is overall unhealthy to eat.

Catharsis

In my school lessons this week, I encountered a strange thought. The "theme" of the week is Transformation, and they discuss it in the context of literature. They outline how a character in a book changes over time, going from a weak, dependent creature, to knowing who he is, what he wants, and how to get there. They have the "Exposition" phase, where the weak character's personality grows on the reader. The "Rising Action," usually beginning with a "Call to Action," which is some grave doom or terrible deed that has incited rebellion, comes next. During the "Rising Action," the character realizes where his faults are and goes about fixing them, trying everything in his power to change his situation. Finally, the "Climax" comes, where some breakthrough or crisis had occurred to provide the caracter with the perfect opportunity to make things right. After that, the "Falling Action," and the "Resolution," the character finally realizes his true faults, and is able to fix them.

A New Way of Living : Part 2 - America Runs On Money

To read Part 1, click here.

Money, just like clothes, or toaster ovens, or computers, is a valuable object in today’s society. America runs on money. Without it, most people can’t eat, can’t buy clothes, can’t rent or own any kind of shelter, and most importantly, cannot live. This is an unhealthy trait of our society. We are 100% dependent on these small slips of paper and coins that are not even valuable by themselves. Through an old-fashioned thought process, it represents gold that is hidden away in a federally protected building, untouchable and unreal for most people. We now have a digital version of our money, in credit cards, and banks. We almost never touch it, and it really doesn’t exist, but our entire lives are supported by this precariously large amount of binary numbers that only exist in a server farm owned by our banks. On top of this, we have the corrupt banking bureaucracy that has complete control over our money, our housing lends, car loans, budgets, salaries, and they own the trust of almost every citizen in America. Keeping in mind that all of this money is either hidden in digital binary code, a number on a sheet of paper, or is a representation of gold that’s hidden in a U.S. Vault, and really doesn’t exist, do you see the absurd ridiculousness in our monetary system?

A New Way of Living : Part 1 - Preface

About a year ago, I became interested in "a new way of living." For about a week, I decided I wanted to live that way. I did research on it, cost and budget analysis, and completed a long breakdown of my conclusion in an essay format. Although I don't really have an interest in doing this anymore, many of the concepts still affect my way of thinking. And, hell! I put a lot of writing effort into it for it to just sit on my hardrive!

I'm going to publish this in 3 parts, one for each (useful) section of the essay. In total, it became 15 pages long, so I'll cut out the more personal-application stuff.

A Revolution

Why does America live the way we do? Why do we all have singular occupations that consume our time, our interests, our entire lives? Many people in today’s working class have similar life paths, including graduating high school, getting a degree in something that may or may not interest them, then searching for that one job that will allow them financial success, an upward trend in salary, and a good future. They might have hopes of marrying, having a family, and they hope that they will eventually get to a point of living that meets the standards of a normal, or abnormal, lifestyle, depending on the person’s wishes and dreams. Many others still have wants of having less financially viable occupations, such as an artist, or a pastor. Although these hopes are passionate and honest, they may not provide the future many people want. They either settle for a less enjoyable option, or they find their life hitting rock-bottom the minute they begin. The former person, although admirable for achieving or trying to achieve, are still unhappy and find themselves trapped in a circle. The latter will usually find themselves unhappy, unless they are able to come across that one-in-a-million opportunity of success. There are, of course, exceptions to these stereotypes; the stay-at-home-mom that crafts on the weekends, or the deranged nerd who has dreamt of working day to day in a tiny cubicle since he was a little tyke, but most fit into an unhappy category of some sort.

Independence

Again, a past school assignment. :)

by R Jazz Biel, 9/28/11

Money makes America go around. We all use money every day, from bills and groceries, to our TVs, computers, clothes, and more. Americans and our modern lifestyle has become 100% dependent on money, and this an unhealthy place to be. At the rate our government has spent our tax dollars, the American dollar has declined in value in the international market, which means our money is almost insignificant in trading with other countries. Currently, our absurd system of money barely supports the majority of our population, and without it, life as we know it would cease to exist.

Eulogy : A Poem

Here is another school assignment - to write a eulogy. I hoped to make it ambiguously meaningful, so try to figure it out before moving on to the "Explained" section... :P

Eulogy

That distant girl, in faded clothes

Marches behind the clouds of the dawn.

Her radiance masked by the dissonance between

Far are we from similarity,

But one we are, she- me, and I- her.

She whispers from the grave

Laid distilled upon the mantle

Captured in modest frames.

We have already met and goodbye.

There is another, she- us, and we- her.

She lies somewhere beyond, unknown, a stranger.

Her back to me, she walks away.

I don't know her, but she knows me.

And as I to the first, she has to me

Said goodbye, and left me be.

R Jazz Biel, ©2011

Hell & Back Again Excerpt : Prologue

This is the prologue from my second unfinished novel, Hell & Back Again. It will probably remained unedited and unpublished, but I really like my prologue!

It is a sin to write this, but I don’t think that anyone will know. All I have left is to write. I can’t stop writing. I suppose that there is so much to write about— all the legends and tales of mystical things. I remember the stories so clearly, and they ring in my mind for quite awhile, until I write them down. I think that I love to write so that everything that I’ve learned can be contained and passed down for the future, so that I am not lost. So many wonderful things have been lost that way.

The Problem with Power: Corruption in the Christian Church

This is an open-ended English assignment that encouraged me to discuss a situation having to do with power.

(Ananias Receives Saul, St. Mary’s Cathedral)

Power is all around us everyday. The government, by definition, embodies power. The media, which holds the ear of most of the population, has control over the supply and demand of the entire economy. Everywhere you go, there are signs of greed and power. There are innumerable examples of power in our society, and, as is human nature, countless examples of power abuse.

Reactivating My Blog

My blog has been inactive for awhile, because I stopped writing my first novel mid-stream and never finished. So, I've decided to turn this blog into my own writing journal, like a collection of my writings.

I, like many, am a wanna-be writer. I, like many, struggle with "scheduling" writing time, and completing novels. I, like many, am unpublished (with the exception of this blog), and would like to have an outlet the I can just release my writings.

I have attempted to write 2 full novels in the past. The first was posted here on this blog as I wrote it (previously named "Book In 55 Days,") and I only reached the halfway point of my writing goal. Although I didn't finish, I accomplished what I needed to: a starting point, and a lesson. I learned many things with that first messy half-novel, that I would never learn in a textbook.