Instructionals: Are You Telling or Showing?

Previous Articles - The Mechanics of Writing

Two weeks ago, in my article How to Build A Scene, I talked about the necessity of putting vital information in your scenes. I talked about starting with the most important information, and working your way out to more details and texture during a rewrite. In this article, I'll go over how to add in those textures and details to make your story come to life!

Showing & Telling: What it Means

A popular concept of conversation in the writing community is the difference between showing and telling. In a narrative story, 'telling' is typically a negative, while 'showing' is the better choice. For example:

• Telling: She wished the crowd a happy Thanksgiving, and left the stadium exhausted.
• Showing: "Happy Thanksgiving!" She screamed into the microphone with a practiced smile, thinking about her aching feet and a warm bed. The smell of hairspray and the heat of the lights were starting to give her a headache as she climbed into the limo. With a sharp jolt, it pulled away toward her hotel.

Which would you prefer to read? Which one has a higher word count? Which one involves more emotions and detail? Showing, of course!

It is easy to fall into a "Telling Rut" when you're writing a scene the first time. For me, it's easier to simply get to the end of the scene first, and think about the purpose and motivation before adding all the extra details. But, it's important to never leave your scenes unfinished-- they might function in your story to let the reader follow the narrative, but they're not fun to read! Telling scenes become dry and boring after a while, and you never become emotionally connected to the feelings of the characters. It's kind of like reading a movie script in a monotonous, Eeyore-tone, instead of performing the scene with professional actors and invested emotions.

How Do You 'Show' The Story?

Active & Passive Voice

If you have ever taken a grammar class (which I haven't-- I learned this in Latin class), there is a different between active voice, and passive voice. Another example:

• Active: Marsha drove the limo.
• Passive: The limo was being driven by Marsha.

Which sounds better? Which is more concise? Which feels closer to the story? Active, right? Some writers can fall into passive voice, which starts to separate the story from the reader. The point of putting detail into your scene is to bring the reader as close as possible to your story, putting them into the position of your characters, and showing them around this world you've constructed. Anything that distances the reader from your story is most likely a negative addition. Be sure you intentionally are choosing between active and passive voice, and try not to slip into passive without meaning to do so. Make a conscious choice between active and passive, as it is right for the scene.

 The 5 Senses

As we learned in elementary school, a good way to get all of your bases covered is to use the five senses:

• What does the character see?
• What does the character feel?
• What does the character taste?
• What does the character touch?
• What does the character smell?

You can even go further:

• What does the character think?
• What does the character want?

There are many different areas you can use to add the senses into your scene, such as dialogue, descriptions, internal thoughts, body language, and context. These things will inform the reader further on the intricacies of a scene, and add necessary details that can describe emotions better than simply stating it. Sensory details are great for putting the reader into the scene, as it helps them imagine what it's like in several different ways.

Be sure to reread your project before publishing it, using a critical eye aimed at showing versus telling. Every scene should not only function to move the story along, but to transport the reader into the story as well. As storytellers, it's our job to provide readers with an escape, and it's difficult to focus on the story if it's dry, monotonous, or in a passive voice.

The next time you read something you've written, ask yourself the question: Am I telling or showing?